A note about these definitions: Each of these definitions has been carefully researched 

and closely analyzed from theoretical and practical perspectives for cultural sensitivity, 

common usage, and general appropriateness. We have done our best to represent the 

most popular uses of the terms listed; however there may be some variation in 

definitions depending on location. Please note that each person who uses any or all of 

these terms does so in a unique way (especially terms that are used in the context of an 

identity label). If you do not understand the context in which a person is using one of 

these terms, it is always appropriate to ask. This is especially recommended when 

using terms that we have noted that can have a derogatory connotation. 

Questioning: 

Someone who is questioning their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. 

Other Terminology: 

Ag / Aggressive:

See ‘Stud.’ 

Agender: 

Person is internally ungendered. 

Androgyny:

Person appearing and/or identifying as neither man nor woman, 

presenting a gender either mixed or neutral.

Asexual:

 Person who is not sexually attracted to anyone or does not have a 

sexual orientation.
An asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction.
 Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.
 Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges
 than most sexual people. There is considerable diversity among the asexual community,
 each asexual person experiences things like relationships, attraction,
 and arousal somewhat differently. Asexuality is just beginning to be the subject of scientific research.
For more information please go to  

BDSM: 

(Bondage, Discipline/Domination, Submission/Sadism, and Masochism ) 

The terms ‘submission/sadism’ and ‘masochism’ refer to deriving pleasure from 

inflicting or receiving pain, often in a sexual context. The terms ‘bondage’ and 

‘domination’ refer to playing with various power roles, in both sexual and social 

context. These practices are often misunderstood as abusive, but when 

practiced in a safe, sane, and consensual manner can be a part of healthy sex 

life. (Sometimes referred to as ‘leather.’) 

Bear: 

The most common definition of a ‘bear’ is a man who has facial/body hair, 

and a cuddly body. However, the word ‘bear’ means many things to different 

people, even within the bear movement. Many men who do not have one or all of 

these characteristics define themselves as bears, making the term a very loose 

one. ‘Bear’ is often defined as more of an attitude and a sense of comfort with 

natural masculinity and bodies. 

Bare-Backing:

Practicing anal sex without using a condom.

Berdache:

A generic term used to refer to a third gender person (woman-livingman). 

The term ‘berdache’ is generally rejected as inappropriate and offensive by 

Native Peoples because it is a term that was assigned by European settlers to 

differently gendered Native Peoples. Appropriate terms vary by tribe and 

include: ‘one-spirit’, ‘two-spirit’, and ‘wintke.’ 

Bi-curious:

 A curiosity about having sexual relations with a same gender/sex 

person. 

Bi-gendered:

A person whose gender identity is a combination of male/man and 

female/woman. 

Binding:

 The process of flattening one’s breasts to have a more masculine or 

flat appearing chest. 

Biphobia:

The fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of bisexuals, which is 

often times related to the current binary standard. Biphobia can be seen within 

the LGBTQQA community, as well as in general society.

Bottom:

A person who is said to take a more submissive role during sexual 

interactions. Sometimes referred to as ‘pasivo’ in Latin American cultures. (See also ‘Top’.) 

Bottom Surgery:

Surgery on the genitals designed to create a body in harmony 

with a person’s preferred gender expression. 

Bug Chaser:

A person who actively seeks to have HIV positive sex partners. 

Butch:

A person who identifies themselves as masculine, whether it be 

physically, mentally or emotionally. ‘Butch’ is sometimes used as a derogatory 

term for lesbians, but it can also be claimed as an affirmative identity label. 

Catcher:

See ‘Bottom.’ This term may be considered offensive by some 

people. 

Coming Out:

May refer to the process by which one accepts one’s own 

sexuality, gender identity, or status as an intersex person (to “come out” to 

oneself). May also refer to the process by which one shares one’s sexuality, 

gender identity, or intersex status with others (to “come out” to friends, etc.). 

This can be a continual, life-long process for homosexual, bisexual, 

transgender, and intersex individuals.

Cross-dresser:

Someone who wears clothes of another gender/sex.

D&D:

An abbreviation for drug and disease free.

Discrimination:

Prejudice + power. It occurs when members of a more 

powerful social group behave unjustly or cruelly to members of a less powerful 

social group. Discrimination can take many forms, including both individual acts 

of hatred or injustice and institutional denials of privileges normally accorded to 

other groups. Ongoing discrimination creates a climate of oppression for the 

affected group. 

Down Low:

See ‘In the Closet.’ Also referred to as ‘D/L.’ 

Drag:

The performance of one or multiple genders theatrically. 

Drag King:

A person who performs masculinity theatrically. 

Drag Queen:

A person who performs femininity theatrically. 

DSD:

(Disorders of Sex Development) 

include anomalies of the sex chromosomes, 

the gonads, the reproductive ducts, and the genitalia. (see Intersex)

Dyke:

Derogatory term referring to a masculine lesbian. Sometimes adopted 

affirmatively by lesbians (not necessarily masculine ones) to refer to themselves. 

Fag:

Derogatory term referring to someone perceived as non-heteronormative. 

Fag Hag:

 A term primarily used to describe women who prefer the social 

company of gay men. While this term is claimed in an affirmative manner by 

some, it is largely regarded as derogatory. 

Femme:

Feminine identified person of any gender/sex.

FTM / F2M :

Abbreviation for female-to-male transgender or transsexual person. 

Gender Binary:

The idea that there are only two genders – male/female or 

man/woman and that a person must be strictly gendered as either/or. (See also 

‘Identity Sphere.’) 

Gender Cues:

What human beings use to attempt to tell the gender/sex of 

another person. Examples include hairstyle, gait, vocal inflection, body shape, 

facial hair, etc. Cues vary by culture. 

Gender Identity:

A person’s sense of being masculine, feminine, or other 

gendered. 

Gender Normative:

A person who by nature or by choice conforms to gender 

based expectations of society. (Also referred to as ‘Genderstraight’.) 

Gender Variant:

 A person who either by nature or by choice does not conform 

to gender-based expectations of society (e.g. transgender, transsexual, intersex, 

genderqueer, cross-dresser, etc.). 

Genderfuck:

The idea of playing with ‘gender cues’ to purposely confuse 

“standard” or stereotypical gender expressions, usually through clothing. 

Genderqueer:

A gender variant person whose gender identity is neither male 

nor female, is between or beyond genders, or is some combination of genders. 

Often includes a political agenda to challenge gender stereotypes and the gender 

binary system. 

Genderstraight:

See ‘Gender Normative.’ 

Hankie Code:

A system that uses colored handkerchiefs and placement to 

symbolize preferences in sexual behavior and practices. Used primarily in the 

gay male leather community, this system is designed to help quickly locate 

potential sex partners with compatible interests. 

Hermaphrodite:

An out-of-date and offensive term for an intersex person. 

(See ‘Intersex Person’.) 

Heteronormativity:

The assumption, in individuals or in institutions, that 

everyone is heterosexual, and that heterosexuality is superior to homosexuality 

and bisexuality. 

Heterosexism:

 Prejudice against individuals and groups who display non-

heterosexual behaviors or identities, combined with the majority power to impose 

such prejudice. Usually used to the advantage of the group in power. Any 

attitude, action, or practice – backed by institutional power – that subordinates 

people because of their sexual orientation. 

Heterosexual Privilege:

Those benefits derived automatically by being 

heterosexual that are denied to homosexuals and bisexuals. Also, the benefits 

homosexuals and bisexuals receive as a result of claiming heterosexual identity 

or denying homosexual or bisexual identity. 

HIV-phobia:

The irrational fear or hatred of persons living with HIV/AIDS.

Homophobia:

The irrational fear or hatred of homosexuals, homosexuality, or 

any behavior or belief that does not conform to rigid sex role stereotypes. It is 

this fear that enforces sexism as well as heterosexism. 

Homosexual:

A person primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually 

attracted to members of the same sex. 

Identity Sphere:

The idea that gender identities and expressions do not fit on a 

linear scale, but rather on a sphere that allows room for all expression without 

weighting any one expression as better than another. 

In the Closet:

Refers to a homosexual, bisexual, transperson or intersex 

person who will not or cannot disclose their sex, sexuality, sexual orientation or 

gender identity to their friends, family, co-workers, or society. An intersex person 

may be closeted due to ignorance about their status since standard medical 

practice is to “correct,” whenever possible, intersex conditions early in childhood 

and to hide the medical history from the patient. There are varying degrees of 

being “in the closet”; for example, a person can be out in their social life, but in 

the closet at work, or with their family. Also known as ‘Downlow” or ‘D/L.’ 

Intergender:

A person whose gender identity is between genders or a 

combination of genders. 

Institutional Oppression:

Arrangements of a society used to benefit one group 

at the expense of another through the use of language, media, education, 

religion, economics, etc. 

Internalized Oppression:

The process by which a member of an oppressed 

group comes to accept and live out the inaccurate stereotypes applied to the 

oppressed group. 

Intersex Person:

Someone whose sex a doctor has a difficult time 

categorizing as either male or female. A person whose combination of 

chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, gonads, and/or genitals 

differs from one of the two expected patterns. 

Leather:

 See ‘BDSM’.  

Lesbian Baiting:

The heterosexist notion that any woman who prefers the 

company of woman, or who does not have a male partner, is a lesbian. 

LGBTQQA:

A common abbreviation for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer , 

questioning, and ally community. 

Lipstick Lesbian:

Usually refers to a lesbian with a feminine gender 

expression. Can be used in a positive or a derogatory way, depending on who is 

using it. Is sometimes also used to refer to a lesbian who is seen as 

automatically passing for heterosexual. 

Male Lesbian:

A male-bodied person who identifies as a lesbian. This differs 

from a heterosexual male in that a male lesbian is primarily attracted to other 

lesbian, bisexual or queer identified people. May sometimes identify as gender 

variant, or as a female/woman. (See ‘Lesbian.’) 

Metrosexual:

First used in 1994 by British journalist Mark Simpson, who coined 

the term to refer to an urban, heterosexual male with a strong aesthetic sense 

who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle. 

This term can be perceived as derogatory because it reinforces stereotypes that 

all gay men are fashion-conscious and materialistic. 

MTF / M2F:

Abbreviation for male-to-female transgender or transsexual 

person. 

Oppression:

The systematic subjugation of a group of people by another group 

with access to social power, the result of which benefits one group over the other 

and is maintained by social beliefs and practices. 

Outing:

Involuntary disclosure of one’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or 

intersex status. 

Packing:

Wearing a phallic device on the groin and under clothing for any 

purposes including: (for someone without a biological penis) the validation or 

confirmation of one’s masculine gender identity; seduction; and/or sexual 

readiness (for one who likes to penetrate another during sexual intercourse). 

Pangender:

 A person whose gender identity is comprised of all or many 

gender expressions. 

Pansexual:

A person who is sexually attracted to all or many gender 

expressions. 

Passing:

Describes a person's ability to be accepted as their preferred 

gender/sex or race/ethnic identity or to be seen as heterosexual.

Pitcher:

See ‘Top.’ This term may be offensive to some people. 

Potato Queen:

A gay man who prefers white sexual or romantic partners. This 

term should be used with caution as it is considered derogatory by some. 

Polyamory:

Refers to having honest, usually non-possessive, relationships with 

multiple partners and can include: open relationships, polyfidelity (which involves 

multiple romantic relationships with sexual contact restricted to those), and sub-

relationships (which denote distinguishing between a ‘primary" relationship or 

relationships and various "secondary" relationships). 

Prejudice:

A conscious or unconscious negative belief about a whole group of 

people and its individual members. 

Rice Queen:

A gay man who prefers Asian sexual or romantic partners. This 

term should be used with caution as it is considered derogatory by some. 

Same Gender Loving:

A term sometimes used by members of the African-

American / Black community to express an alternative sexual orientation without 

relying on terms and symbols of European descent. The term emerged in the 

early 1990's with the intention of offering Black women who love women and 

Black men who love men a voice, a way of identifying and being that resonated 

with the uniqueness of Black culture in life. (Sometimes abbreviated as ‘SGL’.) 

Sex:

A medical term designating a certain combination of gonads, 

chromosomes, external gender organs, secondary sex characteristics and 

hormonal balances. Because usually subdivided into ‘male’ and ‘female’, this 

category does not recognize the existence of intersex bodies. 

Sex Identity:

How a person identifies physically: female, male, in between, 

beyond, or neither. 

Sexual Orientation:

The desire for intimate emotional and/or sexual 

relationships with people of the same gender/sex, another gender/sex, or 

multiple genders/sexes. 

Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS):

A term used by some medical 

professionals to refer to a group of surgical options that alter a person’s “sex”. In 

most states, one or multiple surgeries are required to achieve legal recognition of 

gender variance. 

Sexuality:

A person’s exploration of sexual acts, sexual orientation, sexual 

pleasure, and desire. 

Spivakian pronoun:

New terms proposed to serve as gender-neutral, third-

person, singular, personal pronouns in English. These neologisms are used by 

some people who feel that there are problems with gender-specific pronouns 

because they imply sex and/or gender. (See bottom of the page for usage 

table.) 

Stealth:

This term refers to when a person chooses to be secretive in the 

public sphere about their gender history, either after transitioning or while 

successful passing. (Also referred to as ‘going stealth’ or ‘living in stealth mode’.) 

Stem:

A person whose gender expression falls somewhere between a stud and 

a femme. (See also ‘Femme’ and ‘Stud’.) 

Stereotype:

 A preconceived or oversimplified generalization about an entire 

group of people without regard for their individual differences. Though often 

negative, can also be complimentary. Even positive stereotypes can have a 

negative impact, however, simply because they involve broad generalizations 

that ignore individual realities. 

Stone Butch / Femme:

A person who may or may not desire sexual penetration 

and/or contact with the genitals or breasts. (See also ‘Butch’ and ‘Femme’).