Conference Agenda 2013

Pre-conference Workshop
Robert Stevenson, Ph.D., Mercy College, NY

"Kids and Death - What do they know and how do they learn it?"

The pre-conference workshop will draw on his 25 years teaching death education and his years in counseling. Topics will include: Children, adolescents and death - What knowledge do young people need about death and grief?; The impact of death education in schools - what positive role(s) can death education play?; Techniques for working with grieving children and adolescents (including bibliotherapy and spontaneous drawing).

Keynote Session
Fernando Cabrera, Ph.D., NYC Council Member, Mercy College

Loss Issue with Minorities Children in an Urban Setting

The session will focus on phases psychological, sociocultural and spiritual aspects of bereavement, grief and mourning minorities children are now experiencing in an urban setting and the new challenges for the caring helper.

Poster Sessions

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!: How Death, Grief & Loss are Depicted n the Pages of the Local Newspaper
Laurel Burnett, Family Therapy of Albuquerque, Albuquerque, NM
The diverse ways that we receive “daily news” have been reshaped by 24x7 programming and internet technology. This Poster Session will show ways that a local newspaper impacts “community mourning” through articles, photographs, and editorials. We will discuss: do the ways we receive “Headline News” keep us informed, or, also desensitize us to death, grief and loss, based on the sheer volume of incoming information? Is there a greater impact from how we “learn of the death” or, is it more vital to hear the news “as soon as it happens?” How does “story sharing” get woven into community mourning?

Bereavement Experiences Following a Death Under Oregon's Death With Dignity Act
Erica Srinivasan, Portland Community College, Portland, OR
This qualitative study explored the bereavement experiences of persons who had a family member die using physician-assisted death. Data were analyzed using Thematic Analysis. Themes that emerged from the data relate to preparing for death, saying goodbye, agreement with the decision, legality of the death and reactions from others. Unique issues arise from conflict in agreement with the decision to use assisted death, knowing the specific moment of death and stigma from others. This poster will also highlight directions to consider for children who have a parent or grandparent die from assisted death.

Objectives:

1. To provide information about the Oregon Death with Dignity Act and assisted death.
2. To promote an understanding of the grieving process following an assisted death.
3. To stimulate dialogue about issues that children might face.

Children’s Grief Awareness Day – Sometimes it is the Thought that Counts
Dennis Gates, Journey Mental Health Center, Madison, WI
Established by gubernatorial decree in Pennsylvania in 2008, Children’s Grief Awareness Day is observed on the third Thursday in November. The events website (www.childrensgriefawarenessday.org) now lists participating organizations in at least 27 states. Although children exhibit to the nth degree the fact that we all grieve differently, it is nearly universal that the bereft need to know they are not alone. The web site states that: “Grieving children need support. And the first step in that support is for the rest of us to become more aware of what these kids are going through.” There are numerous ways for each of us to help observe and promote this event.

Objectives:

1. List 3 ways you can become involved.
2. List 3 pluses that grieving children see in this observance.
3. Name one (1) item on the event’s “do not do” list and give your reason for agreeing with this.

Living with a Child with a Rare Disease
Larry Kirch, City of La Crosse, La Crosse, WI
My daughter passed away five weeks ago from a rare metabolic storage disease called Mucopolysaccharidoses (MPS) type III aka Sanfilippo Syndrome. Our daughter was diagnosed just before age three and lived until she was 17, which is about the average lifespan for children with this disorder. The presentation will cover diagnosis of a terminal illness, living and dying from a progressive, degenerative, chronic disorder and the role of rare disease support groups in coping with the disease and assisting with the death and grieving process. Information will be provided about the National MPS Society's Family Support Program, White Rose program and their CYCLE Conference for bereave families.

Objectives:

1. Parent perspective of chronic disease and 14 year grieving process.
2. Role of Rare Disease Support Groups.
3. Where there is hope and support from family, friends, rare disease friends, schools, medical community, you can cope.

What Grieving Children Want You to Know
Andy McNiel, National Alliance for Grieving Children, Jensen Beach, FL
There is no shortage of opinions when it comes grieving children and teenagers, but what do children and teenagers have to say about their own grief? This session will present information gleaned from a national survey of grieving children and teenagers conducted by the National Alliance for Grieving Children and New York Life Foundation. 531 children and teenagers under the age of 18 participated in this survey, which was conducted by local grief support programs throughout the United States. We will discuss several key findings and learn what grieving children and teens have to say about their grief.

What Do We Tell the Children? Navigating Cultural and Generational Differences: A Child's First Loss
Laurel Hilliker, Park University, Kansas City, MO
Explaining death to young children can be a challenging prospect for families and professionals alike. Cultural differences as well as input from family members spanning various generations can often complicate news-telling and conversations. Given the natural inquisitiveness of children, this task requires careful consideration about how to explain death in a simple factual nature. Through the eyes of a small child, her young mother, her grandparents and close friends of an elderly newly deceased woman, this presentation explores best practices for helping families understand cultural and generational differences related to discussing death with young children.

Objectives:

1. To explore the various ways that people in western society from specific generations [the Great’s, the Boomers, the X, Y’s and Z’s, etc.] have attempted to explain death to young children.
2. To investigate the changing landscape of open-style parenting as well as the rise in blended families and potential problems encountered as the result of cultural and generational variances on what to tell the children and how to tell the children about death.
3. To examine prospective solutions on how to avoid overwhelming children with excessive detail or misinformation, this presentation explores best practices for helping professionals address cultural differences and conflicting dynamics of the changing family in the 21st century landscape.

Keynote Session
Illene Noppe Cupit, Ph.D., Professor, Educational Psychology Department, University of Wisconsin-Green Bay

Children, Adolescents and Grief: v.2013

What is death and grief like for the plugged-in, wireless, Wi-Fi cyber cohort of children and adolescents? What are the unique issues and developmental concerns for children of the 21st century? The pioneering research of Maria Nagy in 1948, instrumental for dispelling notions that children comprehend death in a manner similar to adults inspired a steady literature addressing the developmental concerns of children and adolescents with regard to death and grief. Building upon this foundation, this presentation will explore how the virtual world influences and is influenced by children and adolescents as they work to construct understandings and feelings about death.

See Dick Die. See Jane Cry. Death Sucks. Helping Ourselves, Help Others!
Andrew Vitale, Presence Health, Loves Park, IL
This presentation will venture into the messy picture of death and how we, as adults, can help children and adolescents. There is an old saying, "you can give to no one in the world that which you do not have," therefore we have to be 'selfish' and educate ourselves first. Children and adolescents know when we as adults are 'faking' it. We will take a look at words, their differences and work with some tools that will help us with the difficult grief journey. We will Look at complications, platitudes, and downright stupid things well-intentioned people say when confronted with death. Included will be stories of envisioning and creating a bereavement camp or group for kids.

Objectives:

1. Attendees will identify some tools to assist themselves, and others, through the grief journey.
2. Attendees will learn some of the grief issues concerning children and adolescents surrounding death/loss.
3. Attendees will be able to recognize complications in the grief process and know when to turn for additional help.

Seasons of Love: Measuring a Child's Life after Parental Suicide
Janet McCord, Wauwatosa School District, Wauwatosa, WI
In the Jordan & McIntosh book Grief After Suicide (2011), Cerel & Aldrich call for more research to understand the effect of suicide on children including family functioning before and after death, the child’s perceptions of the suicide, and how the death was communicated to the child. This presentation, done jointly by a suicide survivor and a researcher, is a single case study of a child’s loss of a parent to suicide at a young age, coping mechanisms and impact on adulthood.

Objectives:

1. Discuss the research on youth bereaved by suicide through a single case study.
2. Describe the impact of suicide on youth.
3. List ways to proactively help children bereaved by suicide.

Meeting Children Where They Are: Activities to Facilitate Children's Grief Process
Kelly Guidry, M.Ed., LPC-S, Keller ISD, Fort Worth, TX
Sandra M. Stillo, M.S., LPC-S, Play Therapy Dallas, Dallas, TX
Those of us who work with children know that children grieve differently than adults. This experiential workshop will introduce participants to therapeutic activities to help facilitate children's grief process. Participants will have the opportunity to experience the activities and explore their own journey with grief. Children's books and other resources will also be discussed, and participants will receive a list of books and other resources to use with grieving children.

Objectives:

1. Participants will learn about and experience activities for children of all ages to facilitate the grief process.
2. Participants will discuss the rationale behind choosing activities based on children's developmental stages and grief experience.
3. Using group discussion, participants will apply and evaluate knowledge gained in the workshop within the context of their work with grieving children.

Storytelling

Big Rivers and Slow-Moving Limousines
Joy Johnson, co-founder Centering Corporation and Ted E. Bear Hollow, Omaha NE

Objectives:

1. To affirm the good work done by the professionals attending.
2. To discover the power of bereavement stories.
3. To refresh and enliven the interest in personal stories and hidden stories of grief.

Keynote Session
Robert A. Neimeyer, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology, University of Memphis, TN

Traumatic Loss and the Reconstruction of Meaning

Traumatic loss, and the loss of a child in particular, challenges the basic structure of the story of our lives, shattering the organizing spiritual and secular meanings on which we depend to find purpose and direction.  Drawing on recent research on traumatic and untimely bereavement, we will consider the narrative arc of life-altering loss, from the profound disruption of our life stories to their restorative retelling and ultimate integration and extension.  In doing so, we will sketch several therapeutic methods that have shown promise in helping people rewrite the stories of lives devastated by bereavement, and find new hope and wholeness in its wake. MORE

Poster Sessions

Then What? Life Course Issues Following Early Parental Loss
Ruth Montague, Family Losses Resource Center, LLC, Denver, CO
This session presents developmental issues over the life course for those experiencing early parental loss, while focusing on girls who experience the death of a parent. It is oriented to the needs and interests of service providers by highlighting factors affecting outcomes both at the time of loss and throughout the life course. The session is based on the research literature but includes illustrations from the life of the 70-something presenter. It offers an extensive list of references organized by topic. 

Objectives:

1. Recognize the major risk factors affecting children's and adolescents' response to early parental loss.
2. Learn the subsequent developmental milestones for which early loss is a risk factor, and protective factors to be fostered.
3. Access a bibliography of early loss and subsequent life course issues that serves both research and service provider interests.

Who Am I Now? The Lived Experience of Adolescent Sibling Bereavement
Lesley Shroeder-McLean, Fuller Insight, Cape Town, South Africa
This paper (based on a master's dissertation and the author’s own experience of dealing with her sibling-bereaved adolescent children) presents findings from the first study conducted with sibling-bereaved adolescents in in the Western Cape, South Africa. It uncovered a psychosocial journey involving disruption, transition and changed self. The majority of teenagers from three different ethnic groups evidenced a desire for ongoing connection with their sibling who died. The lives of all participants were severely disrupted by sibling death and it compelled them to rethink their evolving identity. However, some of the siblings did not grieve their sibling and this was problematic for them.

Don't Forget Me! I Want to Help too, Participation of Children in End of Life Care
Judy Casto, Viterbo University, La Crosse, WI
This session will explore the many ways adults can facilitate children’s desire to participate in end of life care for someone they love. The developmental stages of children and associated concepts of death will be the building blocks on which to support children facing the death of a loved one. True stories from families and children will be threated throughout the presentation to illustrate the challenges and success of including children in end of life care.

Objectives:

1. Identify the developmental stages of childhood and the associated concepts of death.
2. Examine the needs of children facing the death of a loved one. 
3. Describe how adults can support the participation of children in end of life care for a loved one.

I Wasn't Allowed to Grieve: Unique Challenges and Strategies for Healing Childhood Grief in Adulthood
Laurel Burnett, Family Therapy of Albuquerque, Albuquerque, NM
What happens when a child is not allowed to grieve? When a child experiences a major loss, such as the death of a parent or sibling, or another type of loss, the “healing grief” experiences that should be taking place for the child may be absent or devalued. When new life losses take place in adulthood, the original childhood loss is triggered. Without having experienced grief as a healing process, there is an increased potential for complicated bereavement. We will explore healing childhood grief based on diverse losses, “of which death, is but one” and supportive strategies for “Catch-up Mourning.”

Objectives:

1. Identify diverse types of childhood losses and life-circumstances that may reduce or reshape the potential for experiencing a healthy grief response.
2. Discuss case study examples where childhood loss is identified as an adult and coupled with innovative healing strategies to affirm and honor the grief process.
3. Describe strategies that provide opportunities for “Catch-up Mourning” (reference: Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D.) for individuals, who now as adults, are realizing that childhood grief was not allowed (whether compounded by complex family of origin dynamics, psychosocial challenges, self-medicating or trauma).

Children and Catastrophic Loss
Peter Ford, Winchester Medical Center, Winchester, VA
This concurrent session will combine lecture and group input to develop a simple action plan for meeting the emotional and spiritual needs of children during and immediately after a community or mass disaster. It will address the developing needs of children from infancy through adolescence according to Erikson's five childhood developmental stages and will apply the twelve disaster realities to be addressed by disaster spiritual care providers as discussed in my book, A DISASTER SPIRITUAL CARE PRIMER.

Objectives:

1. Understand the spiritual/emotional needs of children experiencing multiple catastrophic losses during a disaster.
2. Review the reaction of children to catastrophic loss according to developmental stage. 
3. Develop a basic action plan for meeting children's spiritual/emotional needs in catastrophic loss, to be revised and applied in the attendee's home community and circumstances.

Keynote Session
Donna L. Schuurman, Ed.D., FT, Executive Director, The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families, Portland, OR

Uncomplicating Children’s Grief: Essential Elements

What challenges are grieving children and teens more at risk for than their non-bereaved counterparts? What protective factors contribute to children’s resilience following the death of a parent, sibling or friend? How do we shape our responses to them in light of these challenges and protective factors?   In exploring these questions, we’ll include contributions from psychology, neurobiology, brain research, and the emerging influence of trauma-focused practitioners, the movement toward medicalizing and/or pathologizing grief, and other contemporary thinking.  MORE

Incorporating Siblings into the Experience of a Baby Expected to Die at Birth
Tammy Ruiz, Mary Washington Hospital, Spotsylvania, VA
Parents experiencing a pregnancy where the unborn child has received a diagnosis of a life limiting condition often have older children who are living in the emotionally charged environment of preparing for the powerful experience of the birth and death of the new baby. What options exist to include the older children (who might only be toddlers themselves) in the life of their younger sibling that will foster healthy healing for the siblings, parents, grandparents and even caregivers. Tammy Ruiz, RN has 6 years of working with families in these circumstances and the siblings she has worked with have some wisdom they would like to share.

Objectives:

1. List two options for including siblings in the short life of a newborn sibling.
2. Name two resources that parents can tap into to help prepare their older children for birth/death of a baby sibling. 
3. List two issues that are common problems when the bereaved sibling is a toddler and specific interventions to assist the bereaved toddler.

From Bad Kid to Grieving Child: A Redeeming Transformation
Andrea Heeres, Advances In Bereavement, Twin Lake, MI
Delinquency has stumped society for generations. Youngsters in the “system” are called conduct disordered by some; “bad kids” by others. A third possibility is coming into focus: most delinquents have suffered losses that have never been grieved. “From Bad Kid to Grieving Child” is a presentation that examines the current state of knowledge in the grief and delinquency fields to see where commonalities exist and the sharing of knowledge and intervention can benefit both. Bereavement specialists will learn to distinguish between grief and trauma and accurately assess and treat children who would be vulnerable to future difficulties.

Objectives:

1. Participants will be able to distinguish between a grieving and a traumatized child.
2. Participants will be able to name three protective and three risk factors in children following a serious loss. 
3. Participants will be able to identify three treatment methods that effectively address the needs of traumatized children.

Kaleidoscope: Looking at Grief through the Eyes of a Child
Rev. Brian Shaffer, The James Comprehensive Cancer Center, Dublin, OH
We often miss the reality of the child’s need to mourn because we look for it in the “wrong places” or identify with wrong “symptoms.” A multi-dimensional look often reveals a sometimes-excluded viewpoint and ways that we can be more helpful and hopeful as we walk with grieving children. We will look through the a kaleidoscope of influences and challenges in a child’s life that can make the grief experience more fluid or complicate the mourning.

Objectives:

1. Define 6 common patterns for the grief experience of children.
2. Describe the 5 developmental levels of children and the grief experiences of each. 
3. Name and identify the spiritual markers and “typical” spiritual expressions for a child.

Presentation

"Oh, Those Poor Children!": Borrowing Historical and Biographical Loss Narratives of Grieving Children
Harold Ivan Smith, DMIN, FT
Traditionally, compassionate care of grieving children has relied on theoretical constructs that offer structure for clinical intervention and care. How might narratives from child grievers "place a face" on the theories? What happens when clinicians offer child-grievers a chance to "walk a mile" in the grief experiences of well-known persons: presidents, first ladies, business leaders, authors, athletes, media personalities? Equally underresearched is the collapse of any "normal" childhood following significant parental deaths. Thus, children also grieve for a loss of "normal" childhood as an immediate consequence of a parental death. The goal for this presentation is to explore ways to extract the grief narratives from history and biographies, to hone transferrable learning points, and share the narratives to support grief therapy and grief education.

Objectives:

1. Identify particular elements of grief experience that are responsive to borrowed narratives.
2. Define techniques for borrowing narratives from historical/biographical child-grievers.
3. Examine methods to apply grief extracts from historical narratives.

Objectives:

1. To build group among a powerful group of participants who consider themselves "family."
2. To discover the power of our ancestry stories and how they provide strength in our caring. 
3. To refresh and enliven those attending the conference in both their own value and the gratitude of those for whom they care.

WHEN A GRANDPARENT DIES: Three layers of loss
Dick Gilbert
For many children and teens, the death of a grandparent is their first experience with a “human” loss. This is a complex experience for children and teens, often fogged in by the other dynamics within the loss. This section will focus on the often overlooked or underestimated dynamics and dependencies between grandparents and grandchildren and why they are easily missed. The second focus is on the grief issues with the adult children, the particular challenges accompanying the finding of their own grief path while reframing the family and possibly dealing with a surviving parent. Finally, we consider the growing list of complicating factors surrounding the death of a grandparent.

Objectives:

1. Have a clearer picture of the grandparent/child relationship and how loss affects that relationship.
2. Identify ways that challenge parents, wedging them in the middle between their role as parents and as adult children. 
3. Clarify that, in today’s society there are many new factors that complicate these grief experiences. How do we monitor for these problems? Receive a user friendly listing of resources based on age, story and special needs.

Handling Grief in a Cyberspace Environment
Susan Adams, Texas Woman's University, Lake Dallas, TX
This presentation will focus on the concepts of place attachment and place identity – two concepts that add a new dimension to the multi-faceted grief process. Two case studies will be utilized to examine diverse grief situations and adolescents struggles to cope when parents are unintentionally unavailable. Teen-agers often feel neglected and abandoned in spite of the parent’s best efforts. This presentation will focus on demands of each family member’s internal challenges presented to the family unit based on place identity and place attachment concepts.

Objectives:

1. The concepts of place attachment and place identity will be defined and concepts will be related to the grieving process.
2. Technology issues played a significant role in two uniquely different cases. Specific, problematic issues between the adolescent and parental family members will be examined in both case studies. 
3. One case study will examine the grief impact related to destruction of physical possessions and the interactive family dynamics as the family unit struggles to restore balance -- both individually and as a family unit. One case study will examine the grief impact related to the death of a younger sibling as the result of a transplant rejection, and the family’s lengthy struggle of living with and ultimately recovering from the death.

I Want to Be Normal: The Lived Experience of Sibling-Bereaved Adolescents in the High School Context
Lesley Shroeder-McLean, Fuller Insight, Cape Town, South Africa
This paper (based on a master's dissertation, Stellenbosch University) presents the findings of the first study conducted with sibling-bereaved adolescents in high schools in the Western Cape, South Africa. An argument is developed for why high schools need insight into effective ways of helping sibling-bereaved adolescents to fit in and function at school. A key finding is that accomplishment plays a significant role in boosting the flagging morale of bereaved adolescents. The study also suggests that schools find it more difficult to respond appropriately to a single bereaved sibling than to respond to the grief of a group of students.

Objectives:

1. The effectiveness of focus groups with bereaved adolescent populations
2. The need for high schools to provide on-going structured support for bereaved adolescents
3. The importance of facilitating accomplishment in sibling-bereaved students

Keynote Session (June 5, 10:45 a.m.-12:15 p.m.)
Irene Renzenbrink, Social Worker & Art Therapist

"In my heart he's still there: Helping children cope with the death of a grandparent"

Although the death of a grandparent is the first and most common bereavement that a child is likely to face, it appears to be the least discussed and researched area of childhood bereavement and yet the bond between grandchildren and grandparents has been described as “second in emotional power and influence only to the relationship between children and parents." Grandparents may have many roles in a child’s life such as “teacher, caretaker, negotiator (between child and parent), as well as “transmitter of language, culture, food and history (Kornhaber and Woodward, 1985). In this session we will explore the nature of this special bond and the impact of a grandparent's death in a child's life. Creative opportunities for reflection and sharing of stories will be combined with research findings, theoretical perspectives and the presenter's experience based on her work as a social worker and art therapist.